Custody & Stability
The Co-Parenting Documentation Guide
Keep records without losing your peace
Good records are not about winning. They are about remembering accurately when emotions run high, and having facts ready if a mediator, court or caseworker ever needs them. Ten minutes a week is enough.
Keep the facts. Release the rest. The file should protect your child, not prosecute your grief.
Worth keeping
- Dates, times and places of schedule changes, and who requested them.
- Agreements you actually reached, in writing, even one line.
- Missed or late visits and pickups, stated factually.
2 more in the free printable guide.
Not worth keeping
Every irritated text
Records full of grievance are heavy to carry and weak when someone else reads them.
Tone and adjectives
Write what happened, not what it felt like. “Arrived at 6:40, pickup was 6:00.”
A ten-minute weekly routine
- 1
Gather
Open your calendar and messages from the past week.
- 2
Record
Add dated, factual lines. One line per event.
- 3
File
Save receipts and screenshots in one folder named by month.
- 4
Close
Shut the file. You do not need to reread it.
Why facts, not adjectives
Neutral, informative language is the core of the BIFF method for high-conflict communication, and it keeps your records readable by anyone, including you on a hard day.
Get the printable guide
The full guide as a printable PDF, with every fact numbered and a “Where this comes from” page linking to the original sources. Free with an account.
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Where this comes from
Written by The Steady Parent. The “facts only” approach follows the BIFF method; what to keep is our own practical guidance. What courts accept varies by state and judge.